30 Heartbeats
by Tragic Moonlight Death Of Love
Summary: Jess's thought throughout heartbeat... Spoilers 5x25
1. Live heartbeats

**Don't own anything.**

**Jess's thoughts before and after she died. Set to the count of heartbeats.  
**

_Thirty__ heartbeats, _I'm sorry I didn't get to say good-bye Don.

_Twenty-nine heartbeats, _I hope you find more answers to who you are Stella.

_Twenty-eight heartbeats, _I hope I didn't disappoint you Mom and Dad

_Twenty-seven heartbeats, _I think Lucy will grow up to be a strong girl, she has great parents.

_Twenty-six heartbeats, _Thanks for showing me love and friendship everyone, I owe you.

_Twenty-five heartbeats, _I know I died for someone not worth it, but I did die doing my job.

_Twenty-four heartbeats, _I'm not scared of death, I'm kind of curious to see what happens after life.

_Twenty-three heartbeats, _I had fun these past couple of years, being part of a team, a hand-made family.

_Twenty-two heartbeats, _I think I'll always be thankful for that stakeout that got Don to notice me._  
_

_Twenty-one heartbeats, _I'll always be grateful for the short time we had.

_Twenty heartbeats, _I wonder what bullets are slowly killing me, even if they're removed, it won't stop death._  
_

_Nineteen __heartbeats, _I can feel Don outside the waiting room, I bet he's struggling not to cry. _  
_

_Eighteen __heartbeats, _No matter how tragic, a man can't cry.

_Seventeen heartbeats, _I never understood the male need to be macho, something to do with pride and ego I guess._  
_

_Sixteen __heartbeats,_ I heard you asking me to stay with you Don, but I can't.

_Fifteen __heartbeats, _I'm sorry I couldn't talk back, but I had no sound._  
_

_Fourteen __heartbeats, _I wish I did have the chance to say good-bye, to tell everyone face-to-face how much they mean to me._  
_

_Thirteen __heartbeats,_ The tools are becoming more blurry, so is everything else._  
_

_Twelve __heartbeats, _I'll miss everyone.

_Eleven heartbeats__, _I really hate hospitals._  
_

_Ten __heartbeats, _It smells like death, and medicine.

_Nine __heartbeats, _I wonder what death will be like, maybe I can stay on Earth and walk around.

_Eight __heartbeats, _Maybe, I'll go to a heaven, or somewhere in the clouds.

_Seven __heartbeats, _I just hope it's nice, and sunny.

_Six heartbeats, _There was sun on the way here, but no sun in this room, it has no windows.

_Five heartbeats, _I love you Don, I'm sorry I never told you.

_Four __heartbeats, _I know you loved me too, I could see it in your eyes every time you looked at me.

_Three heartbeats,_ I think I'm going soon.

_Two heartbeats,_ Something is pulling me away.

_One heartbeat, _Goodbye._  
_

_Zero heartbeats, _"She's gone!"


	2. Spirit Hearbeats

**Don't own anything.**

_Zero spirit heartbeats, _My soul has left my body.

_One spirit heartbeat,_They are trying to revive my body, but it won't work.

_Two spirit heartbeats,_ I know what's after death now, I can walk around, but I'm invisible.

_Three spirit heartbeats, _The nurse is going to tell Don, I float behind her.

_Four spirit heartbeats, _He crumbled onto the bench, no hiding his tears now. _  
_

_Five spirit heartbeats, _I want to go to him, but I can't._  
_

_Six spirit heartbeats, _He won't see me, he won't even feel me._  
_

_Seven spirit heartbeats, _I watch as Danny comes up, Don whispers the words that confirm I'm gone.

_Eight spirit heartbeats,_ After punching the wall, he turns and I see tears in his eyes as well.

_Nine spirit heartbeats,_ I go to the diner and listen to Mac announce my passing.

_Ten spirit heartbeats,_ Everyone is crying, or has no expression.

_Eleven spirit heartbeats, _They get news that the Hummer has been found and return to work.

_Twelve spirit heartbeats,_ Don's with my body, he's telling Sid he can't bear for me to be autopsied.

_Thirteen spirit heartbeats,_ I always was fond of Sid, he did have a story for everything.

_Fourteen spirit heartbeats,_ I feel helpless as I see Danny, Mac and Don get shot at, I wish I could be with them.

_Fifteen spirit heartbeats_, I hear that idiot yell at them for killing his son, the murderer I died protecting.

_Sixteen spirit heartbeats,_ These guys that shot me, they're smart, I have to admit, but the team are smarter.

_Seventeen spirit heartbeats,_ Tears are in my eyes when Dad and Don talk, my badge passing from one hand to another.

_Eighteen spirit heartbeats,_ I wonder if they'll catch the kidnappers, I don't want my death to have been for nothing.

_Nineteen spirit heartbeats,_ I know who killed me, Marines, fugitive Marines from what I saw.

_Twenty spirit heartbeats, _They found the warehouse, one across some bridge.

_Twenty-one spirit heartbeats, _Everyone except Lindsay goes, ready for a battle.

_Twenty-two spirit heartbeats,_ Sheldon stays outside, ready to help anyone who's hurt.

_Twenty-three spirit heartbeats,_ Soon, someone is shot in the arm.

_Twenty-four spirit heartbeats,_ Stella, Mac, and Danny all get one of the four guys.

_Twenty-five spirit heartbeats, _I go with Don as he trails the last one.

_Twenty-six spirit heartbeats, _A silent observer to what he did, I didn't want the guy to die, and I wish he hadn't done it.

_Twenty-seven spirit heartbeats,_ Danny realized what happened, but I don't think anything will be done, I don't want Don to go to jail.

_Twenty-eight spirit heartbeats, _The bar is where they honor my memory, with stories, drinks and Stella making a toast.

_Twenty-nine spirit heartbeats,_ I'm watching a silent Don, and I don't even notice the car.

_Thirty spirit heartbeats, _Suddenly, there are all these bullets, and glass is everywhere. I can't see what happened, everyone is down and no one is moving, what just happened? Is everyone going to be okay?


End file.
